My husband and I are both firstborn of three children, so we share certain characteristics that make us good leaders but also lead to tension at times. We’re both “take charge” types who prefer to be in control of a situation. We both struggle with needing help or direction. We’re both avid protectors, zealously guarding those we love and feeling responsible in situations that are often outside our control. We don’t often need to be asked for help either. We tend to take the initiative and intuitively recognize and meet a need, but we may get our feelings hurt if the help is not welcomed. Being first in birth order marks our natures, but God’s indwelling Spirit can mold even the most ingrained traits to be used for His glory!
It’s always tempting to credit God with “making” us a certain way, yet saying, “that’s just the way I am,” expresses a resistance to change that borders on defiance. The phrase sometimes goes, “like it or not,” or “what can I do about it?” The truest answer is nothing at all! In our own strength, we are powerless to change the way we are, but God is not powerless. It can be painful to surrender to His work in our lives at times because our human nature postures in self-defense as we continue to stroke our pride. He cannot work where He is not welcomed, but God already sees the finished work. He sees us complete in Christ; the very best version of ourselves. He sees us ready to enter eternity and He knows exactly what it will take to get us there!
I tend to bemoan hard things that feel like defeat or helplessness while celebrating anything that borders on success. Just maybe I’ve got it backwards! Late pastor and theologian, Charles Haddon Spurgeon, known as the “Prince of Preachers,” said,
“Christians are not so much in danger when they are persecuted as when they are admired.” ~Charles Spurgeon
My human nature instinctively reacts in ways that are contrary to what I know to be helpful, good, and true. I can continue to make excuses for my actions, or I can surrender them to One who has both power and authority to affect change in my life. The choice will always be mine. I am not some novelty of humanity. The first followers of Christ struggled with the very same nature. Twelve men who spent three years watching Jesus up close and personal still argued about who was most important to their Master and Friend. Jesus addressed the tension directly.
“And they came to Capernaum. And when he was in the house he asked them, “What were you discussing on the way?” But they kept silent, for on the way they had argued with one another about who was the greatest. And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” And he took a child and put him in the midst of them, and taking him in his arms, he said to them, “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me, receives not me but him who sent me.””
Mark 9:33-37 ESV
https://www.bible.com/59/mrk.9.33-37.esv
The gospels record several parables and teachings regarding those who seek to be first. One such story of a vineyard owner who hired workers throughout the day and agreed to pay them what was fair ends with his deciding to pay each man the same wage, beginning with a those last hired. The first workers expect to be paid more, and say so, but the owner’s reply only angers them.
“But he replied to one of them, ‘Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius? Take what belongs to you and go. I choose to give to this last worker as I give to you. Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?’ So the last will be first, and the first last.”
Matthew 20:13-16 ESV
https://www.bible.com/59/mat.20.13-16.esv
What looks or feels like success to me is no more or less a gift from God than the tough times that feel like helplessness or defeat. Situations that teach humility are some of the greatest gifts God gives because they teach dependence! A little child is not held responsible for providing for himself, feeding or clothing herself, proving his worth within in a family. He is simply held, loved, nurtured, encouraged. She is given time for rest and recreation. Small children are totally dependent on their parents to have their needs met each day. “Give us this day our daily bread.” That’s how Jesus taught us to pray.
On a much larger scale, omniscient God sees His finished work collectively. He sees a world full of people created in His image living and breathing, moving toward eternity on different trajectories. Sometimes our paths collide. Sometimes we travel together in the same orbit for a time. Often we pass without recognition, but nothing is chance. Every encounter, every personality, every situation is purposeful. God is sovereign. He reigns over all. He will be acknowledged as Lord by every living being eventually. (Philippians 2:10-11)
“From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. For in Him we live and move and have our being.”
Acts 17:26-28 NIV
https://www.bible.com/111/act.17.26-28.niv
“For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written: “ ‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.’ ” So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.”
Romans 14:7-8, 10-13 NIV
https://www.bible.com/111/rom.14.7-8,10-13.niv
God sees everything moving toward peace.
“Christ is the visible image of the invisible God. He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation, for through him God created everything in the heavenly realms and on earth.
He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see— such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world. Everything was created through him and for him. He existed before anything else, and he holds all creation together.
For God in all his fullness was pleased to live in Christ, and through him God reconciled everything to himself. He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth by means of Christ’s blood on the cross. Christ is also the head of the church, which is his body. He is the beginning, supreme over all who rise from the dead. So He is first in everything.
This includes you who were once far away from God. You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions. Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body.
As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault. That’s why I work and struggle so hard, depending on Christ’s mighty power that works within me.”
Colossians 1:15-22, 29 NLT
https://www.bible.com/116/col.1.15-22,29.nlt
I am “depending on Christ’s mighty power that works within me.” I welcome Him to do the necessary work as I am transformed into the image of His Son.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.”
Romans 8:28-29 NIV
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