A Life Changed

One year ago, I didn’t know I would be a grandmother and I had no idea I had cancer. The day before I met my daughter-in-law’s family for the first time, I had my initial screening colonoscopy recommended at age fifty. I wish I’d had one sooner. I was diagnosed with stage three colorectal cancer the following week. One year ago this week, my life changed forever. I just didn’t know it yet.

Change in and of itself is neither good nor bad. It’s just different. And it is inevitable. In truth, we would not want things to stay the same always. Babies would never grow up. Daily routines would become monotonous. We’d always live in the same place and no one would ever move next door. Our list of friends would never grow. We expect change. We crave it. We look constantly for what’s next, yet it’s how we perceive and respond to change that’s telling. My reaction to change stems from my own expectations, unless they come from somewhere else entirely.

“In him all will be blessed to bless others, and may all the people bless the One who blessed them. Praise Yahweh forever, the God of Israel! He is the one and only God of wonders, surpassing every expectation.”

Psalms 72:17-18 TPT

https://bible.com/bible/1849/psa.72.17-18.TPT

David composed the prayer that is Psalm 72 for his son, Solomon, but God was writing the words on his heart to foreshadow His one and only Son, Jesus. The entire Psalm is powerful when read with Jesus in mind. It is a prayer I will gladly pray for the world today.

Prior to my cancer journey, I had been journaling the Psalms. I was nearing the end of Psalm 119, the longest chapter of the Bible, when my diagnosis came. God had been leading my thoughts toward prayer against the escalating violence in our country through David’s wilderness poetry. As he hid in caves, deserts, and foreign lands to escape the murderous threats of his predecessor, Saul, he pleads with God to vindicate him. At the same time, he refuses to counter violence with violence, instead leaving vengeance to the Lord.

As I prayed his words daily, the tension and fear of conflict began to leave my mind and was replaced by righteous indignation and a drive to pray more diligently. Then I came to the last stanza of Psalm 119 the week of my diagnosis.

“Lord, listen to my prayer. It’s like a sacrifice I bring to you; I must have more revelation of your Word! Take my words to heart when I ask you, Lord; rescue me, just like you promised!

I offer you my joyous praise for all that you’ve taught me. Your wonderful words will become my song of worship, for everything you’ve commanded is perfect and true.

Place your hands of strength and favor upon me, for I’ve made my choice to follow your ways. I wait for your deliverance, O Lord, for your words thrill me like nothing else!

Invigorate my life so that I can praise you even more, and may your truth be my strength! I’ll never forget what you’ve taught me, Lord, but when I wander off and lose my way, come after me, for I am your beloved!”

Psalms 119:169-176 TPT

https://bible.com/bible/1849/psa.119.169-176.TPT

Coincidence? Definitely not! My great God never ceases to amaze me at how He prepares me for what’s coming so that I am never blindsided. Change can bring chaos in its wake, but a heart and mind stilled by the Lord is held, placed above the fray. No, I didn’t know I had cancer when I was entering the twilight sleep provided by anesthesia. I didn’t know I would need 28 rounds of radiation followed by 8 cycles of chemotherapy and two major surgeries, but God did. He knew even then that I would struggle to feel “normal” again. He knew that my diet would have to change drastically. I’m still figuring all this out, but God knows!

Change is inevitable, but eternal God is Omnisciently Sovereign. And I trust Him. So I study His Word, I walk in His presence and we talk. Everyday.

“So I kneel humbly in awe before the Father of our Lord Jesus, the Messiah, the perfect Father of every father and child in heaven and on the earth.

And I pray that he would unveil within you the unlimited riches of his glory and favor until supernatural strength floods your innermost being with his divine might and explosive power.

Then, by constantly using your faith, the life of Christ will be released deep inside you, and the resting place of his love will become the very source and root of your life.

Then you will be empowered to discover what every holy one experiences—the great magnitude of the astonishing love of Christ in all its dimensions. How deeply intimate and far-reaching is his love! How enduring and inclusive it is! Endless love beyond measurement that transcends our understanding—this extravagant love pours into you until you are filled to overflowing with the fullness of God!

Never doubt God’s mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for his miraculous power constantly energizes you.”

Ephesians 3:14-20 TPT

https://bible.com/bible/1849/eph.3.20.TPT

I heard a song a couple of decades ago that still echoes in my mind, especially now that I’ve had a “brush” with death. I’m not afraid of dying. It’s the end we must all face, and I make it my business to stay prayed up. Just knowing that I will one day see Jesus’s face and hear Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’”

Matthew 25:21 NIV

https://matthew.bible/matthew-25-21

I’m in no hurry to get there. I want every single day written in His book for me to be lived abundantly! (Psalm 139:16) I want to accomplish His purpose in my generation. (Acts 13:36) He’ll be waiting with open arms, my name engraved on the palms of His hands, (Isaiah 49:16) but as long as He gives me life and breath, I have work to do!

I love Him, and because I love Him, I want you to know Him too. So I embrace the change. Whatever comes my way has first been filtered through His loving hands. And just maybe, we’ll meet in eternity one day something like this!

“One by one they came

Far as the eyes could see

Each life somehow touched

By your generosity

Little things that you had done

Sacrifices made

Unnoticed on the earth

In heaven now proclaimed

And I know that up in heaven

You’re not supposed to cry

But I am almost sure

There were tears in your eyes

As Jesus took your hand

And you stood before the Lord

He said, my child look around you

For great is your reward

Thank you for giving to the Lord

I am a life that was changed

Thank you for giving to the Lord

I am so glad you gave”

(THANK YOU by Ray Boltz)

“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.”

Deuteronomy 7:9 NIV

https://deuteronomy.bible/deuteronomy-7-9