My younger son, Jacob, had a love-hate relationship with surfing. The east coast doesn’t offer much to the enthusiast but after surf lessons with the Eternal Wave Surf Shop in Surfside Beach for his thirteenth birthday and watching hours of YouTube videos, the surf challenged him plenty. We’d load up his gear and head out to the beach only to find it too crowded or flat more often than not, but he persisted, hoping to ride the perfect wave.
He’ll tell you to this day that his best surfing was when Hurricane Harvey lingered off the east coast at the end of August, 2017 just before his epilepsy surgery. At nineteen, this oversized kid never went on the beach without his mom. I’m sure people wondered but no one ever asked and he took it all in stride. His seizures were not controlled by even his high doses of medication at that time, and I was most familiar with his onset cues, so he surfed and I watched and prayed. At five foot six and 150 pounds, I prayed I’d be able to manage his six foot three frame if he ever needed me and thank God that only happened once in the ocean.
On this particular day, his grandparents were watching from the deck across the street at my sister’s house but decided to walk over with my niece, Anna. They met us coming out of the water arm in arm, surfboard in tow, and probably assumed we’d seen them coming and set out to meet them together. What they couldn’t know was that I’d just waded waist deep in now sagging sweat pants to turn Jacob toward the shore and guide him to safety. Having watched his routine so many times, I immediately noticed when the board he guided at his side drifted free of his fingertips and he started to list to his left.
Jacob’s seizures took two forms: partial or more rarely, grand mal. During his partial seizures, he would continue in motion without realizing his surroundings, as when he balanced his bike across the entire back yard and flipped into the pond when the front tire hit the rock edging without remembering anything until after I’d led him inside and into the shower desperate to find the source of all the bleeding. On this day, he just kept walking farther into the ocean as his board, still tethered to his ankle, flipped in the oncoming waves.
As I made my mad dash into the current behind him, my mind flashed back to an earlier time when he was much smaller and had just gotten his board. He started into the surf and a wave caught him off-guard, sending him sprawling. The board, now parallel to the shore, flipped on the next wave and made contact with his chest and throat. He couldn’t speak by the time we reached him and my husband was sure his windpipe was crushed. He was bruised and hoarse for a week but ready to get right back in the water.
As I led him by the arm back toward the shore on this night, I prayed that the board, still leashed to his ankle, would not catch us from behind. As I struggled to keep hold of his arm with my left hand, I tugged the leash with my right, all the while talking aloud to Jacob and God alternately. After a second failed attempt to trap the board under my right arm, I looked up to see my niece, Anna, running toward me. Ironically, the one thing I remember her saying was “Aunt LeAnn, your pants are all saggy!”
My mom and dad were on her heels and having now realized that we needed help, they rushed to our side and we stood there in the near dark on the beach until the seizure subsided and we could gather up our things and make our way home. I find myself holding my breath even as I type these words, but as I take a breath and my mind rushes forward, I am filled with gratitude and relief because in the intervening years, I have seen my prayers for Jacob answered in mighty ways! More than this, I have seen God’s Sovereign hand orchestrating events in ways I never asked or imagined. (Ephesians 3:20)
I’ve been hearing a new song by Colton Dixon entitled Build A Boat on the Message on SiriusXM. Of course I hear Noah’s faith story in the lyrics, but the phrase that captured my attention this past week and started me thinking about Jacob’s faith journey comes right in the middle.
“You’re my map.
You’re my compass.
You help me navigate the currents underneath.
Take the lead.
I surrender.”
If being Jacob’s mom taught me anything, (and it has taught me many things and that will be a book) it has been that trusting God isn’t nearly as difficult as I like to make it. I worry and pray and worry some more. I fume and rant and take matters into my own hands only to lay them down again when my arms are exhausted, but all along, God is there. Never for a minute has He been unaware of my whereabouts or my needs. And the children He entrusted to me, well, He loves them even more than I ever could and the same is true of them. He knows my limitations and He says that His strength is perfected in my weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9) He knows the desires of my heart for He authored them. (Psalm 37:4) He is with me always, guarding and guiding me all the way to the home He has prepared for me. (Psalm 139:10, John 14:2-3) In the same way He crafted His Word, He moves me.
“Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet’s own interpretation of things.
For prophecy never had its origin in the human will, but prophets, though human, spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.”
2 Peter 1:20-21 NIV
https://bible.com/bible/111/2pe.1.20-21.NIV
Surfers and swimmers are warned to watch out for rip currents or undertow that can carry them far from shore. It’s the reason our parents always made us watch them or come in every few minutes from the water for a snack or a rest because we unknowingly drifted down the coast while playing in the tides. The only safe way to escape a rip current is to float on top of it, letting it carry you until you can safely swim parallel to the shoreline to a wave that can carry you in or allow you to wade to shore outside its draw. Even experienced swimmers have perished while trying to fight the currents in their own strength.
Child of God, you are also carried along by the Holy Spirit when you surrender your will to His. The cultural undercurrents are strong but God is ever-present and He is sovereign over the affairs of men. (Daniel 4:25) Let Him take the lead. He will navigate the currents and you will ride the perfect wave.
A Fitting Reply 