I’m a fixer. I’m not at the same level as my mother who has more trouble sitting still than I do. I’m not lazy; just a hair more laid back like my dad. Still it’s hard for me to admit I don’t have the answer. Not every situation has an accounting solution where the spreadsheet balances; at least not here and now.
Most of the time, I’m borrowing energy from tomorrow while taking care of today. Although we weren’t meant to live at break-neck pace, at times, life can be less like a mountain climb and more like running downhill out of control hoping not to trip. On these precarious days as every day, I am thankful for the everlasting arms of my God! (Deuteronomy 33:27)
“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10 CSB
https://bible.com/bible/1713/isa.41.10.CSB
“Remain in me, and I will remain in you.
For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.
“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches.
Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit.
For apart from me you can do nothing.”
John 15:4-5 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/jhn.15.4-5.NLT
The difficulty here so often is recognizing and acknowledging my own insufficiency. Acknowledging Christ as Savior and Lord seems a separate matter. (John 1:12) I know I am completely unable to secure my own salvation. I know my home is in heaven where Christ is preparing a place for me, (John 14:2-3) and either He will call me home or come back and take me with Him to glory. (I Thessalonians 4:13-18) Still, each day there’s the temptation to rely on my own reason and strength. After all, I’m a strong woman in a long line of strong women. I’ve borne children and battled cancer. I must not be too different from the first followers of Christ.
“Jesus sat down near the collection box in the Temple and watched as the crowds dropped in their money.
Many rich people put in large amounts.
Then a poor widow came and dropped in two small coins.
Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has given more than all the others who are making contributions.
For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on.””
Mark 12:41-44 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/mrk.12.41-44.NLT
I believe this teachable moment was far less about the giving than about the faith behind the gift. Both willingly brought an offering so both were obedient. The widow’s chin must have been on her chest as she raised her arm to reach the collection box at the temple, much like the tax collector in Jesus’s parable who struck his chest as he prayed, “God have mercy on me, a sinner!” (Luke 18:13)
Her gift represented all she had to live on, requiring her to continue trusting God completely for her survival. The wealthy returned to their large homes with stores of food and servants on hand to prepare it. Maybe their gift filled the widow’s plate each day as she relied on the widow’s portion for help. Still, Jesus saw the posture of her heart as He sees mine and yours. He sees my plans and my contingency plans. Have I left room for Him to move, or have I boxed Him in?
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/focus-on-parenting-podcast/id261059112?i=1000569636385
In a recent segment of Focus On The Family’s podcast, I was struck by a question from special guest, Jodie Berndt. She explains that God asks, “Are you trusting Me or trusting in a certain outcome?” Am I trusting God to help me accomplish my plans seemingly on my own or am I open to His and quick to give Him credit? Will I answer His call to follow Him as readily as the twelve, and will I desert Him just as quickly when the pressure’s on? Can I say with Isaiah, “Here I am! Send me!” (Isaiah 6:8) without knowing the who, what, when, where, and why? It’s difficult for God’s Spirit to fill me when I’m already self-sufficient, so full of myself, my own ideas, and plans.
Jesus chose those who would represent Him on the earth in His absence and He made them enough because He taught them to empty themselves so that He could fill them. When they came up empty, he rebuked them for their lack of faith, (Mark 9:19) not for their lack of resourcefulness or poor planning. When He tested them, He already has in mind what He would do.
“That evening the disciples came to him and said,
“This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late.
Send the crowds away so they can go to the villages and buy food for themselves.”
But Jesus said, “That isn’t necessary—you feed them.”
“But we have only five loaves of bread and two fish!” they answered.
“Bring them here,” he said.”
Matthew 14:15-18 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/mat.14.15-18.NLT
Five loaves and two fish were just a boys lunch until Jesus’s blessing made it more than enough. However, it wasn’t about supply and demand. The spreadsheet was never going to balance even if half the crowd had brought their snacks forward. It was always only ever going to be sufficient when it was surrendered into the hands of the All Sufficient One! He could have turned stones into bread, but that wasn’t the point either. They needed the bread of life. They needed Jesus. He’s all we’ll ever need!
“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.
My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”
John 10:10 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/jhn.10.10.NLT
The enemy of our souls, the deceiver, who comes to steal, kill, and destroy wants you to think he is God’s evil opposite, but as Tina Reale posted recently on Instagram, “though he does oppose God,…he is not equal to God. Only God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. We should take the enemy seriously but we do not need to fear him, giving him more power than he deserves. Let’s put him in his rightful place- fallen well below the Almighty and already defeated by our King.”
Even as I write, working to record a thought revealed to me by God’s Holy Spirit, the enemy tries to snatch it away. So I pray, “If You meant for me to have that Lord, bring it back to me,” and I trust Him to chase down the enemy and retrieve what belongs to Him, returning it to me if He chooses. Then and only then, in obedience, I put it out into the world, after allowing it to first teach me, impacting my own heart and life.
“A thief has only one thing in mind—he wants to steal, slaughter, and destroy. But I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect —life in its fullness until you overflow!”
John 10:10 TPT
https://bible.com/bible/1849/jhn.10.10.TPT
“And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.”
Colossians 3:17 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/col.3.17.NLT
“So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I’m called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way to lead them
Won’t You lead me?
Lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone
Father, lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone”
-Sanctus Real LEAD ME
A Fitting Reply 