Amelia and Ezra experienced their first Camp Lolly and Poppy last week while mom and dad cruised through their fifth anniversary. I’ve kept these two overnight a few times to prepare for our week together and little Ezra, at almost seventeen months, usually waved goodbye cheerfully and settled right in for the night. This time, he could tell things were different. Mommy and daddy checked in every day and even recorded good night messages for when they were without cellular service. Seeing them but not being able to get to them made Ezra more clingy than usual. Both kids missed their parents terribly but thankfully Lolly has become a close third and I was able to console them at bedtime and they slept soundly every night but one.
It’s been a few decades since my three occupied my every waking moment. I know I was not a perfect mama, far from it, but I was already chasing hard after Jesus during those years and I look back on some pretty amazing things, more than all I could have asked or imagined for certain, things only God could have pulled off given my limited resources, mentally, physically, and financially. Those were my husband’s training years and we had committed together for me to stay home with our children, so when my last temporary assignment ended two weeks before the birth of our first son, I embraced full time motherhood and I never looked back.
Being a grandparent means I’m rarely solely responsible for the babies for very long. Usually mom or dad is nearby and we’ve learned to work fairly seamlessly in tandem. Giving my kids an occasional date night or time to invest in one another is both a joy and a privilege, one with which I am grateful to be entrusted. It is also unexpectedly sanctifying.
Four grandchildren with four unique personalities remind me that there is no one size fits all parenting formula. Of course, I learned this exact lesson after the birth of my second child and again after my third. I wish I could blame getting older for my forgetfulness. Thankfully, God is so good and oh so patient with me.
Amelia and I had butted heads during dinner for the second night in a row and I was congratulating myself for being patient with her, knowing she was tired and missing her mom and dad. That was just before I snapped at her for nearly pushing Ezra from his stool at the kitchen counter to the floor. Poppy was there to catch him and to call me back from the edge. Taking a deep breath, I returned to the bedtime routine and heaved a sigh of relief when both kids were tucked in and sleeping soundly.
That was not the end of it though. I have a loving heavenly Father who is always working, always calling me higher. Paul and I ate our dinner as usual, I showered and dressed for bed and sat down to read my Bible before heading upstairs. In my daily reading, there alongside the Fruit of the Spirit was this Proverb.
“There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.”
Proverbs 6:16-19 ESV
https://bible.com/bible/59/pro.6.16-19.ESV
I felt the heat rising in my face and my heart beating faster as my thoughts went directly to words I had spoken in the last twenty-four hours. I was guilty of the exact thing I had grown impatient with Amelia over. Forgive me, Abba. Thank You for reminding me how very patient You have always been with me. Thank You for pruning in me branches which are not bearing fruit. I want to honor You. I want these precious little ones to see my love for You in my words, in my tone, and in my face. Let the words I say and the thoughts I think be pleasing in Your sight. You are my Rock and my Redeemer. Amen.
““So why do you keep calling me ‘Lord, Lord!’ when you don’t do what I say?
I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it.
It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock.
When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well built.
But anyone who hears and doesn’t obey is like a person who builds a house right on the ground, without a foundation.
When the floods sweep down against that house, it will collapse into a heap of ruins.””
Luke 6:46-49 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/luk.6.49.NLT
Jacob and Valentina plan to build a house together in the new year if the Lord wills. They are already building a house with their lives, in their family, a house where the Lord lives by His Spirit. (I Corinthians 3:16, 6:19-20) As followers of Christ, you and I are living temples where the Lord dwells.
“God saved you by his grace when you believed.
And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.
Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets.
And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself.
We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord.”
Ephesians 2:8, 20-21 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/eph.2.8-21.NLT
Only a house built on a solid foundation will stand the storms of life, and that foundation is Jesus. In His great love, He bore the cross for my sins. From that same love, He is molding me and making me more into His likeness, from glory to glory. Am I, like the apostle Paul before his Damascus Road experience, kicking against the goads, resisting the disciplining hand of my loving Heavenly Father in vain? It will not end well for me if I continue to fight against Him.
Instead, I have learned to pray as Jesus taught me.
““Pray, then, in this way:
‘Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
[For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.
Amen.’]”
Matthew 6:9-13 NASB1995
https://bible.com/bible/100/mat.6.9-13.NASB1995
My pastor asked a question during his Sunday sermon, one I have pondered since. Why would God not change me, grow me, sanctify me? He created me. He knows me best and He knows what’s best for me. I choose to trust the One who surrendered Himself for me first.
“On a hill You created,
Light of the world, abandoned in darkness to die
You lost Your life so I can find it here
I can see Your heart in everything You’ve done
You clearly chose surrender
So will I.”
So Would I (100 Billion X) ~Hillsong United https://youtu.be/C2U7ffUM5Ec?si=FewcrwSLLSZyR7mr
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