My hematology oncologist, Expo marker in hand, began explaining my diagnosis while writing what looked like chemical symbols on a white board, alphanumeric with superscripts. His pronounced accent and the mind-numbing shock that comes with hearing you have advanced stage cancer made me feel like the proverbial deer in the headlights. I sat next to my husband, holding tight to his hand while nodding my head, acknowledging, “yes, I understand,” when it was far from the truth. In that moment, what I actually understood was that I definitely had cancer and it was serious, that there was one treatment option that was promising, and that my husband, with his medical background, would explain it all to me later. The larger truth that I understood in that moment, the one thing that truly mattered most, is that God can be trusted.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/pro.3.5-6.NLT
Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not depend on your own understanding. Reliance on my own understanding in that moment would have been futile. I understood nothing of significance. The abbreviations for tests and treatments being presented to me were essentially a foreign language. Plans were being made for my benefit. Tried and true therapy options were presented. Five years worth of evidence pointed toward the possibility of a complete response to radiation and chemotherapy treatments, followed by surgery assuring the removal of any remnant tumor just to be certain. I did a lot of nodding and smiling that day as I was introduced to not one, but two different oncologists. A second gastroenterologist and a surgeon now made up “my team,” investing their years of education and experience toward my healing. I knew one of them before that day. I trusted them, yes, but ultimately I know the Great Physician and I am known to Him, intimately. Nothing was registering with my head. I had to depend on my heart for the truth that day.
Seek His will in all you do and He will show you which path to take. That part was easy. The one path forward was already clear. I would fight! I never once doubted that and I truly never experienced the overwhelming sense of dread I expected to hit at any moment. Each step along this preordained path was orchestrated before my first breath by the Great Physician Himself, the Lover of my soul. “Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”
Psalms 139:16 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.139.16.NLT
How can I believe that, you might ask? I just do, I would say, but my trust is not unfounded. I site the Bible, God’s holy word, as my source. I have corroborating evidence as well. For one thing, when my surgeon resected my colon, he remarked that I had pristine anatomy. He confirmed what previous scans had shown, that I was born with “redundant colon” on my left side. My operation was much less complicated, therefore, because I was born with spare parts. Where some may see coincidence or luck, I choose to see the hand of Providence.
“We have become his poetry, a re-created people that will fulfill the destiny he has given each of us, for we are joined to Jesus, the Anointed One. Even before we were born, God planned in advance our destiny and the good works we would do to fulfill it!”
Ephesians 2:10 TPT
https://bible.com/bible/1849/eph.2.10.TPT
The commentary from The Passion Translation describes the reason for the word choice for this verse. “The beautiful Greek word used here is translated “poem” or “poetry.” Our lives are the beautiful poetry written by God that will speak forth all that He desires in life.”
But how? How is it possible that this cancer, this disastrous thing that should never happen to anyone, should become “poetry?” Greek tragedy maybe, but beautiful poetry? How can God speak life in the midst of deadly disease? Many ask, “how can God be good and still allow His children to suffer?” How can I trust God in the middle of my nightmare?
If I trusted my own understanding, these questions are impossible to answer. Reason fails. Only faith can respond with confidence, “I know God can be trusted.”
“But you must remain faithful to the things you have been taught. You know they are true, for you know you can trust those who taught you. You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus.
All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.”
2 Timothy 3:14-17 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/2ti.3.14-17.NLT
“My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart.”
Proverbs 3:1 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/pro.3.1.NLT
“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.”
Hebrews 10:23 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/heb.10.23.NLT
I am a student of God’s Word. I sit under His tutelage. His promise to His first disciples applies also to me.
“But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you. “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.”
John 14:26-27 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/jhn.14.26-27.NLT
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
https://philippians.bible/philippians-4-7
God can be trusted, but you don’t have to take my word for it. His word is filled with examples of His faithfulness to His creation throughout the ages, and even more full of promises of His faithfulness to us! Invest a little time in reading the Bible without relying on your own understanding. Ask Him to teach you.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
James 1:5 NIV
“If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
Luke 11:13 NIV
My understanding and yours will always be limited. There is only One who can know all that can be known. I don’t need to understand everything to see clearly with the eyes of my heart that omniscient God can be trusted.
A Fitting Reply 
Amen! His plan is perfect and He can be trusted! What a promise!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, Amen! God can always be trusted!
Thank you for the gift of sharing not only your faith, but also the wisdom God has given you!
LikeLiked by 1 person