Not long before Caroline’s college graduation, her first grade teacher confided that she would hold onto Caroline’s crayons during their weekly tests. Once Caroline had answered all of the written questions, she gave the crayons back and six year old Caroline colored steadily until the rest of the class was finished. Even at such a young age, she displayed perfectionist tendencies. Her meticulous coloring could take up the entire time allotted for the test so her attentive and doting teacher helped her learn to prioritize her required work first.
Thomas, Caroline’s eldest who is now in kindergarten shows similar tendencies. He obsesses over building, coloring and forming his letters perfectly, quickly growing impatient with himself when he goes outside the lines or inverts a letter. She recounted her first grade coloring experience as Thomas was copying his Sticky Scriptures Bible verse for the week. Then she reminded him, “Our work will never be perfect. We do our very best with what God gives us. That’s what God wants.”
Being with my daughter as she anticipates the arrival of a third son is a precious gift. Since she lives two hours from me, I see her a day here or a weekend there, but getting to experience her family’s routine for an extended period and even more, just doing life with them for a season is a blessing. I thank God for all of my children and grandchildren and I love serving them in turn. Watching her with her boys makes me feel a surge of pride because I know she resembles me (and her daddy) in many ways but I must check myself. God gets the credit for any good in her. She is His child before she is mine and she too strives for His well done good and faithful servant above all else.
We must always remember that each of us is created in the image of our Heavenly Father. This earthly body houses an eternal soul which will outlast this body. We will one day exchange the perishable for the imperishable, mortality for immortality. (I Corinthians 15:53) Just as I cannot take credit for what God is doing in the lives of my children, neither can I despair where I see them languishing. It may be tempting to feel that their successes are my own or just as easily that their behavior is reflecting poorly on me or on my parenting. We are our children’s first teachers and they are excellent mirrors, revealing things in us that we have not seen in ourselves, things that need to be brought into God’s Light with repentance. When this conviction comes, we should remember that they are not the only ones born with a sin nature. Before we respond pridefully or react harshly to our children on account of their unbecoming behavior, we would do well to consider how our own words and actions in that moment will reflect Jesus to our child and to a watching world? Even when I feel as if I have repeated myself a thousand times, my response needs to be tempered with grace, without which I would be lost.
Those who walked closest with Jesus during His time on earth struggled with this concept.
“Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”
“No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!
Then Jesus told this story.
“Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him.
In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars.
He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt.
But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.’
Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.
But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars.
He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment.
His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time.
‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded.
But his creditor wouldn’t wait.
He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full.
When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset.
They went to the king and told him everything that had happened.
Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant!
I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me.
Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?
Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt.
That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.””
Matthew 18:21-35 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/mat.18.35.NLT
“O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”
Psalm 139:1, 4, 23-24 ESV
https://bible.com/bible/59/psa.139.1-24.ESV
“The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever.
He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.
For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.
The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.
For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.”
Psalms 103:8-14 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.103.8-14.NLT
“But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne.
All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.
He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left.
Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world.
For I was hungry, and you fed me.
I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink.
I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home.
I was naked, and you gave me clothing.
I was sick, and you cared for me.
I was in prison, and you visited me.’
Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you?
Or thirsty and give you something to drink?
Or a stranger and show you hospitality?
Or naked and give you clothing?
When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’
Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons.
For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me.
I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink.
I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home.
I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing.
I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’
Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’
And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’
And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life.””
Matthew 25:31-46 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/mat.25.40.NLT
Our closest relationships are a proving ground. As we work out our salvation with fear and trembling, let us do everything without grumbling or arguing “for the one bringing forth in you both the desire and the effort – for the sake of his good pleasure – is God.”
Philippians 2:13 NET
https://bible.com/bible/107/php.2.13.NET
“For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory.
All glory to him forever! Amen.”
Romans 11:36 NLT
A Fitting Reply 