My daughter seemed distracted one moment and driven the next. The week before Titus was born, she cycled between desperate readiness and the desire to finish a month’s worth of home improvement projects before the new baby’s arrival. I told my husband over the phone that she must be ready to deliver soon because she was hard core nesting. I assisted as she mounted a track storage system in her garage to get her boys’ baseball gear out of the living room. She painted and added wainscoting and a towel rail with extra hooks to the boys’ bathroom. She washed crib linens and clothes for the baby and rearranged the nursery, built a prefab storage shelf for her older boys to store their clothes and she replaced eleven dated interior doorknobs. I was exhausted just watching her but when she went into labor on the day after her due date, I was hardly surprised. Industrious and befuddled rarely coexist outside of pregnancy but motherhood is often full of contradictions.
Mothers are the most forgetful of creatures while at the same time, like Mary, mother of Jesus, we hide so many things away in our hearts. We think about things deeply and often, treasuring the moments they represent, ever aware of, even searching for deeper meaning. (Luke 2:19) While we may forget entire years of personal history and the specifics of the seventeen hour labor or of sitting by the bedside of a sick child, the angst of waiting up for our new teen driver, and all the times our hearts were broken or our dreams disappointed, single moments are deeply imbedded in our minds. When it comes to our families, our husband and children, we hold onto hope rather than hurt, faith instead of fault, and most of all love that covers a multitude of sins. (I Corinthians 13:13, I Peter 4:8)
Motherhood was a part of God’s original design though it too has been corrupted by sin since the fall. Eve’s curse comes down to us all. Increased anguish, both physical and emotional, in childbirth and child rearing is only part of God’s promised punishment. The constant power struggle that exists between man and wife is also the result of our fallen humanity. Only in Christ and for the glory of God can true unity exist, in marriage, in our families and in the world. Marriage and motherhood are more sanctifying than any other roles I have known. God perfectly designed living, breathing mirrors to reveal my own humanity and to call me to holiness. I have the same choice as Eve. I can deny my sin and seek to hide from omniscient God, which is only lying to myself, or I can humble myself, confessing my sin with a broken and contrite heart and find rest for my soul. (I John 1:8, 1 John 1:9, Psalm 51:17)
Watching five year old Thomas and two and a half year old Timothy with their new baby brother Titus has been such a beautiful blessing. So has sitting with their mom during late night feedings and supporting her as she heals and recovers. I see the tiredness in her eyes behind the joy. I watch her push herself beyond reasonable limits for her sons and her husband and still show gratitude and concern for me. I know this is possible as she relies on Christ, abiding in Him daily, confident that in her weakness, He is strong. (II Corinthians 12:9)
“He takes care of his flock like a shepherd.
He gathers the lambs in his arms.
He carries them close to his heart.
He gently leads those that have little ones.”
Isaiah 40:11 NIRV
https://bible.com/bible/110/isa.40.11.NIRV
“Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is an eternal God, the creator of the whole earth.
He does not get tired or weary; there is no limit to his wisdom.
He gives strength to those who are tired; to the ones who lack power, he gives renewed energy.
Even youths get tired and weary; even strong young men clumsily stumble.
But those who wait for the Lord’s help find renewed strength; they rise up as if they had eagles’ wings, they run without growing weary, they walk without getting tired.”
Isaiah 40:28-31 NET
https://bible.com/bible/107/isa.40.28-31.NET
Another unexpected contradiction for mothers, especially new moms, is that it seems newborns arrive more helpless and dependent than when we carried them. Our bodies are equipped to satisfy every need of our babies from conception to birth, even afterward providing their sole source of nutrition, with very little actual inconvenience. Early during pregnancy, only people we’ve confided in may even be aware we are carrying and sustaining another life. Our appetite may increase or be disrupted by morning sickness, our body swells to make room for our growing baby and our activities may be somewhat limited, but we largely carry on with life as usual. Once the baby is born, he still depends heavily upon his mother and where once, watching out for her own well-being meant protecting her baby as well, she is caring for two separate individuals, one of whom can do nothing to care for himself. Motherhood is not for the faint of heart. I’ve heard it said that it’s the hardest job you’ll ever love and I agree. I am grateful that the Lord is my Shepherd. In Him, I have everything I need for this life. (Psalm 23, II Peter 1:3) I may not feel equipped for the task but in Christ, I am.
“And my God will supply your every need according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
May glory be given to God our Father forever and ever. Amen.”
Philippians 4:19-20 NET
https://bible.com/bible/107/php.4.19-20.NET
“Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.
All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.”
1 Corinthians 13:12 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/1co.13.12.NLT
“When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child.
But when I grew up, I put away childish things.”
1 Corinthians 13:11 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/1co.13.11.NLT
Caroline entered the baby’s room bleary eyed, awakened by the alarm reminding her it was time to feed Titus. She had only slept for an hour at best. Even in this state, she was gracious and kind. She confided in me her hope that tonight would be the night that she and I would both get two consecutive hours of uninterrupted sleep at the same time. I smiled, agreeing with her and knowing, as she does, the chances of a one week old not needing to be held or fed or changed are slim to none. Still we both have a choice. We either embrace our humanity by making excuses for bad attitudes and bad behavior or we accept our humanity and fix our eyes on Jesus. I choose Jesus.
“Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly].
Enfolded in love, let us grow up in every way and in all things into Him Who is the Head, [even] Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).”
Ephesians 4:15 AMPC
https://bible.com/bible/8/eph.4.15.AMPC
“Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
It does not demand its own way.
It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 13 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/1co.13.4-13.NLT
UNSUNG HERO~ For King + Country https://youtu.be/iqFpF-WChp4?is=UfOWXX8p4cmXnwPv
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